He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize