So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
