I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
