i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
