K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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