i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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