Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
