i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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