i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
