I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
