What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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