Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
