he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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