i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i think my cat just said my name.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
