now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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