I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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