Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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