I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I won't apologize to a one balled man
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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