Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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