i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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