FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
