So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
