Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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