I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize