All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
