Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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