I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
