He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
