can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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