i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
