remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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