Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
