Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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