dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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