Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
