Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
