Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize