that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
areolas are like halos for boobs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
