woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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