How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize