I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
send nudes
from the living room?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
