Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Someone signed my nipple.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
