you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
