Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i out mim tonsoeep
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