I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
