you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
