I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The ass gains better be worth it
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