idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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