Got a toothbrush?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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