White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
