just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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