Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
