he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
