I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
