I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
