I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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