Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You dont lie about slip and slides
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
did i just pee glitter
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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