I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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