its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
